So.. after a fairly good night last night and a good drop off at nursery (Rocco cried a little bit) I was fairly confident that Day 3 would be better.
Whilst picking the twins up from nursery I had a chance to speak to the girls that work with the twins and they mentioned that Rocco cried whenever people come into nursery , mainly the sport and yoga people that do the extra curricular programmes at nursery. I thought this was a little strange but he has always been a clingy child. The nursery thinks maybe he doesn’t like strange men. I suppose this could be true given the circumstances.
I also found out that 2 other children in the class have lost a parent, that’s really surprised me as it’s unusual (I would have thought) to have 4 children in one class that have gone through a bereavement of a parent.
I did a little research into the childhood bereavement network and found out that it was estimated that in 2015, 23,600 parents died in the UK, leaving dependent children and that by the age of 16 around 1 in 20 young people will have experienced the death of one or both of their parents. In 2004, the last time a national survey was done, around 3.5% of 5-16 year olds had been bereaved of a parent or sibling. That’s around 1 in 29 (or roughly one per classroom).
That’s crazy. And quite clearly a lot more common that we realise.
Willow and Rocco’s key worker said that they never talk about their dad whilst the others talk a lot about their deceased parent and that maybe they needed to. They suggested I make a little book at home with pictures in that they can share at school and that they can look at sometimes. I think it’s a good idea and I hope that that isn’t linked with their sudden bad sleeping, given Father’s Day was a while back. They really enjoyed going to visit Toby and watering the plants but maybe it plays on their minds afterwards.
Anyway back to the bedtime routine. So we read or stories and did everything as per usual and then I shut the door and said good night. Then Rocco decided to keep opening the door. It really tested my patience .. I did scream and shout after the 30th time, I took his Pom poms away out of his jar and showed him so he could see, it took for his jar to be empty before he finally settled.
Willow was good and stayed in bed. Although she did get upset abit with Rocco’s crying.
I felt shattered last night and went to bed as soon as sienna came home from guides. And then like the neurotic mother I am, woke every hour or so wondering if they were going to wake up!!!
Ofcourse they didn’t wake up all night and then I was awake from before 6am wondering if they were actually ok and should I check on them! I couldn’t quite believe they’d slept through! They woke at 7 standing at the gate looking happy and refreshed after the first sleep through in a while!
I can’t quite believe it happened! So I will be interested to see what happens with day 4…
Keep everything crossed for me, won’t you! X
thewidowedmummy 